Strong doesn’t mean silent
How many times have you said “I’m fine” when you weren’t?
Adam, a former Royal Marine, BJJ coach and podcaster was the first man to take part in the Domestic Ghosts project.
You come home carrying stress. Frustration. Pressure you can’t quite name.
You ask your partner about her day. You listen. You hold space for her.
Then she asks about yours.
And you shut the door.
“Yeah… fine.”
Later, you lie awake replaying everything that wasn’t fine.
You tell yourself you shouldn’t add to her burden.
So you swallow it.
You sleep badly. Wake tired. Repeat.
The stress spreads — hairline cracks turning into fractures.
You get shorter with the people you love.
You drift into long drives, long walks, long silences.
The weight never lifts. It just hides.
At what point does it break?
We grow up in a world that tells boys — and then men — to be stoic.
That emotions are weakness.
That vulnerability is shameful.
So we go quiet.
We cope alone.
We become ghosts in our own homes.
But strength doesn’t require silence.
And silence isn’t strength.
What if speaking up is the bravest thing you could do?
What if admitting a crack in the armour makes you more of a man, not less?
Every man’s struggles look different;
no one’s problems are the same as someone else’s.
Comparing yourself to others is fruitless. Just because something wouldn’t affect you doesn’t mean it won’t affect him.
Brad, is a farrier and has experienced many of the day to day troubles that most men experience and keep hidden within themselves.
That’s what Domestic Ghosts is about.
I photograph men who seem steady, capable, strong — masculine
and then place them in the private spaces where their guard finally drops.
Then I ask a simple question:
Why do so many of us believe we have to carry our pain alone?
This project won’t fix the whole world.
But it can spark conversations.
And those conversations are already happening.
If even one helps someone rethink what strength really looks like, then we’ve done something good.
But it needs all of us.
To remind each other that it’s OK not to be OK.
That strong doesn’t mean silent.
That when a man says, “I’m fine,” we need to ask:
“Yeah… but are you really?”
If you’d like to take part in the project — to be photographed and share your story — use the link below to fill out a short form that will explore your connection to the issues raised within the project.
Or if filling out forms isn’t you thing,
then please reach out directly:
Instagram: @matthewduriezphotography
Email: hello@matthewduriezphotography.com
Let’s talk.
Let’s break the silence together.
