Imagining Domestic Ghosts

As a man who has inhabited probably one of the most stereotypically masculine work places, for almost twenty years, I’ve seen what happens when silence holds too long—when worlds come crashing down. Mine included. Some of us make it through, others don’t. And yet we cling to the lie that men can’t break, that our strength is for others and never ourselves.

But what if revealing your weakness actually makes you stronger?

Domestic Ghosts began with a question: “what does it mean to inhabit masculinity, not as a performance, but as a lived and complicated experience?” For so many of us, the word carries expectations: strength, endurance, control, resilience. Yet beneath those outward layers lie stories that are quieter, more fragile, and often unseen.

This project emerged from a need to hold both sides of that truth at once: the outward face of masculinity, forged in workplaces, uniforms, gyms, and social roles; and the inner landscapes where men allow themselves to rest, reflect, or simply exist without performance. The ghost in the title is not a haunting from the past, but the lingering presence of selves that are rarely witnessed. These are the versions of men that slip beneath the surface of what is expected; the parts that hesitate, feel, fear, and hope. But they often do it in hiding. They escape to beaches and cliff tops, woods and golf courses. Anywhere that they can be alone to pour out their emotions into their own heads. We feel ashamed to let people see us that way, worry of what they will think of us. That they will think less of us, think that we aren’t the men they thought we are.

The ghosts are not the dead, but the unspoken—the versions of men that live quietly in the corners of their own lives.

I wanted to create a space where men could stand still long enough to be seen in both of these states. Each man who takes part offers not only his time but his trust—inviting me into spaces that are often private and unguarded. Some have shared their fears, others their tears. All have allowed themselves to be seen as they are: not posing, not performing, but simply being.

My motivation in starting this work is simple but urgent: to help dismantle the silence around men’s inner lives. Too often, vulnerability is hidden away, leaving only the performance of toughness, which can weigh heavily and isolate those who carry it. By making these private selves visible, Domestic Ghosts attempts to show that strength and softness are not opposites, but parts of the same whole.

What you might hold in your hands one day is not just a collection of portraits, but a record of encounters. Each man is both present and absent, grounded in place yet reaching beyond it. These images are not meant to provide answers, but to ask questions—about how we see ourselves, how we are seen, and what might happen if the ghosts we carry inside were given room to breathe.

Beyond photography, Domestic Ghosts is about permission—the permission for men to feel, to speak, to be seen without armour. If this work helps even one man see himself differently, to reach out rather than retreat, then it will have done what it needed to do. But my hope is that it goes further—that it starts quiet conversations between fathers and sons, friends and colleagues, men and themselves. Because strength isn’t found in silence. It’s found in the courage to feel.

I’m still looking for more men to take part in this project, so if you’re in the South West of England, fulfil some kind of male stereotype in your day to day life and are willing to commit emotionally to the process, then please get in touch.

Matt - Firefighter

Adam - BJJ Blackbelt

Jules - Insurance Broker